on goals and personal achievements

As a high schooler, I never really felt like I had life goals. I knew what was expected of me, and I planned to do those things (graduate high school, go to college, etc) rather than really set goals for myself. These things were things I wanted to do, but they never really felt like things I chose to do. 

Now that I am no longer freshly out of high school (eek!) and getting ready to graduate college (double eek!!) I have been thinking a lot about personal goals and motivations to achieve said goals. Why am I doing this? Post high school, I floundered a lot. Three years, three schools, umpteen majors and multiple failed classes. I had no goal, no end point, and no good reason to be there, other than, “why not?” There was nothing else pressing that I needed to be doing with my life. 

I’ve since taken a break from school and now have been back since the summer of 2011. I’ve been trying to decipher what changed in me – I knew what I wanted after about a semester or two back at school. I want a degree. I want to do well in school, not just *not fail*, but succeed. I am still not a model student, but I have gotten better grades in the last two years than I have since 9th or 10th grade. 

Now that I am closer to graduating than I ever have been, I’ve found myself thinking, “what next?” What is next in my life? This has had me thinking a lot about goals. Why do we set the goals that we do for ourselves? What motivates these goals? 

Here is what I know for myself (I love these kind of statements, probably because they remind me of pro and con lists 🙂 )

Currently my goals consist of the following:

  1. Graduate with a Bachelor’s degree! (well on my way for this one!!! only two classes left after this semester)
  2. Regain my self esteem (this one has been surprisingly easy so far – mostly through caring more about my appearance and controlling my posture and body language)
  3. Continue on my journey of self betterment (the first part of this is listed above, but more on that later..)
  4. Figure out what I am doing after my undergrad degree (yes, the way I phrased that makes it sound like I am planning on grad school..I need to find my marbles because I think I might have lost them!)

My motivation for my bachelor’s degree is this: I know that my quality of life will be improved by earning this degree. I will have better job opportunities, more skills, and generally having a degree will be an all around plus for my life, in many areas. It will also give me a sense of accomplishment.

My journey of self betterment has come from a realization that I am in control of my life – as I said above, for many years I floundered and did what I felt others (my parents) wanted me to do. You’d think I would realize that I am in control of myself long before 25, but only lately have I realized that happiness and contentment is completely under my control (well, I realized this a long time ago, but only recently have I felt able to harness this control). 


Anyways. I am starting to ramble and lose my train of thought..Someday I will plan out blog posts like this ahead of time so my thoughts are a bit more concrete. A lot of this introspection lately has been spurred by my renewing my relationship with an old friend, who introduced me to this youtube video, which is a clip from a commencement speed by David Foster Wallace.. If you have 10 minutes, watch it! 



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